Friday, February 18, 2011

Welcome to the Sunshine state...

Translation: I can feel my face again!!!

So I bring tidings from Bradenton, FL...which looks like this:

And compared to what I am used to:

...It just doesn't seem possible that these two places can exist in the same country, let alone planet. Personally I think winter should be illegal. Apparently that "inconvenient truth" Al Gore told us about was nothing more than a lie to anyone living in the Midwest.

Anyway, I've gotten to see some pretty awesome stuff since I've been here, and even pet a stingray today at the aquarium because I was experiencing one of those rare instances some people call "being adventurous." And it felt like silly putty, no lie (the stingray- not my sense of adventure. Close though).

My only gripe about Florida is that every drink doesn't come with a tiny souvenir umbrella in it. I mean, this place is in a constant state of spring break, it's a crime I tell you! Also, Florida- how bout you share the wealth? I've seen more Lambo's, Ferrari's, and Maserati's in the past 24 hours than I ever did at the flippin' Detroit Auto Show. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE DO FOR A LIVING? Seriously, everyone living in this state can't possibly be a plastic surgeon.

Either way, I think we all know I'm just glad I'm on the opposite side of the state that season 2 of Jersey Shore was filmed on. But occasionally when I catch a whiff of stanky ocean air...I shudder and think about the crimes committed upon Florida beaches when gallons of hair gel, spray tan, and the herp were introduced to the ocean by the cast. Coincidentally, didn't the BP oil leak occur at about the same time? Clearly BP was just trying to fight fire with fire.

I'm off to find an umbrella to stick in my bottle of Miller, and perhaps a crazy straw. If you don't hear from me by next week, know I've found a bar that caters to both these requirements, and may never set foot in Michigan ever again.


  1. If you have any sense, you will only go back to Michigan to pack up your stuff and move back down there. Though the weather here in Kansas has been quite nice the past few days, I'd much rather be at the beach right now. Preferably Los Angeles, but that ain't happening any time soon.

  2. haha I am hoping to pack my stuff and move to New Mexico this summer. Florida has been gorgeous so far, but it's only February and it's already in the 80s...summer here would be killer! Either way I am a traveling fiend!

  3. First, I hate you.

    But, since you advocate the banning of winter, I forgive you.

    So basically you're at neutral.

    Until you mentioned putting an umbrella in a miller lite.

    Back down you go...


  4. Sent you an award:


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