Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'm not confused...I'm just well mixed.

Translation: Dear readers, there are aspects of this life that genuinely baffle me (surprisingly it doesn't happen as often as you might think...especially since I can't blame the lack of understanding on blonde hair anymore). So I ask you the following questions...

1. Why the hell are glasses and contacts so expensive?! I got a new pair of glasses yesterday (RIP glasses I wore for 10 years), and I'm not talking "baller status" glasses- just a nice pair of DKNY's and a 5 minute exam...well over 300 bucks for the whole shebang. As if the good people at Lenscrafter's just wanted to say, "thank you for having terrible eye sight so we can reap the benefits." To that I say, you're most welcome...Lord knows I wanted to be BLIND. Because it's totally comforting to know in the middle of the night when something makes a sudden noise and I wake up I could be face to face with a serial killer and I'd be none the wiser. Hooray for my misshapen corneas!

2. Does my life belong on the D-list? This is a sub-rant about my experience at Lenscrafter's. I was told by a worker that I look like Kathy Griffin. I will be dying my hair a darker shade of red immediately, but I'm not sure I will ever be able to recover from said statement. Even though the woman who made that comment bore a striking resemblance to Tonya Harding (in lieu of repeatedly beating my knee caps she instead cold clocked my pride).

3. This is more of an observation that confuses me and not really a question, but I just finished watching the movie "Going the Distance." It was funny (God bless Charlie Day and Jim Gaffigan), but in all seriousness, being in a long distance relationship is not nearly as hard as shows and films make them out to be. Because if you truly love someone, that feeling transcends the miles. It can be so unbelievably frustrating to be apart, but patience is key...and is also something most people just don't have when it comes to relationships I suppose. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. Is it ideal? No. I would love to be able to fall asleep next to the man I love every night. But right now I do not get to...so it makes the time we do get to spend together mean that much more. In a way I feel very fortunate, because I know we do not take each other for granted the way other people who see each other every day have a tendency to do.

4. Now, on a completely different note- why can't every diet be this awesome?

5. Is the apocalypse about to hit, or what? I'm told the snow storm of death is sweeping the country. My hometown virtually shut down due to icing and probably 3 centimeters of snow (huge deal in West Texas) and we're looking at getting two feet over night here in Michigan. People are scrambling to the grocery store to buy food in a manner reminiscent of Y2K (Yes, we survived) or a zombie apocalypse (in which case you should buy ammo, not bread). I'm going to be on the look out for locusts and frogs...because even if it is 10 degrees outside I'm told they're excellent indicators that the end of the world is upon us. And I'm sorry, but all this talk of the world ending...I can't NOT post this:

I know I've snuck that video into an older blog post, but dammit...it's so funny I sincerely hope if the world ends tonight it goes down a little something like that. But if it could kindly hold off and clear up by Saturday (so as not to disrupt my flights), that would be great.


  1. My friend was telling me how it was snowing over there in Texas...he is from there, by the way. It's cold as hell right now in Alabama. I think mother nature is pissed at us all right now. I love the video! It made me laugh my ass off back in the 8th grade. :)

  2. yeah apparently Texas got hit hard with an ice storm. But right now the blizzard up here in Detroit has gotten so bad it's snowing SIDEWAYS. I fear I may never leave the house again!!!

  3. It's called The Snowpacolypse, and it hit us Tuesday night!

    Lots of snow, even more wind, and cars in every ditch. Fun times!

    I even got my snowmobile stuck.

    And I was in a LD relationship for a year and a half... you're right, it isn't THAT hard, but I thought it was just me because I like so much space.


  4. Caleb...I envy that you have a snowmobile so don't take offense but it made me a smirk a little (just a little) that it got stuck. As for the LDR- I think EVERYONE could use space. So you're definitely not alone in that.

  5. The Zombie Apocalypse is real Kat! Don't make fun. And shit yeah, you should stock up on ammo! The voices told me any day now.....they come loud and insistant when I take the foil off.

    Other than that. #4 is a great diet....I substitute rum or Bailey's and coffee, though. Kept my figure plump and juicy for years.


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