I like my money right where I can see it - hanging in my closet.

Translation: There is no such thing as too many clothes, just too small a closet. This is a recent statement I made to my boyfriend that signaled a red flag in my own head (he already knows I'm crazy, but I refuse to accept it). But as a compulsive bargain shopper, I see nothing wrong with owning over ten pairs of black heels, a bajillion pair of skinny jeans, and a wardrobe Victoria herself would not want to keep secret, except for the fact that all these purchases were made on a buy one get one premise.

It occurs to me when I moved to Michigan after stuffing all my furniture in storage, I shipped about 12 24x24x24 boxes of shoes and clothes. And this was after donating 15 LARGE bags full of old clothes and shoes. Now, after living back home for almost a year, I fear the amount of shopping my mother and I have done is beyond healthy, but still a damn good lotta fun. When I move again I am going to need a U-haul for my shoes alone (black pump collection has been upped by a few pairs).

Now for those of you that follow me on the Facebook (yes, that one), you’ll know I recently paid off my credit card(s). I had two Capital One accounts that, let’s face it, at first I used responsibly but somewhere in between my first apartment and my 80th pair of shoes, I kind of let that “emergency purposes only” rule slide. Or, in my mind, an online sale at the likes of Express really was an emergency because those moments were few and far between. Never had being broke looked so utterly stylish.

But many trips to the bar, mall, and Outback later- I owed my credit card company about four grand. And it took me almost four years to pay off while still keeping a roof over my head and my power on (doesn’t matter how nice your clothes are, you cannot dress yourself in the dark). I was making good headway but my interest rates were so high that I consolidated my debt and took my business elsewhere. Capital One- you are so not what’s in my wallet.

I realize my troubles were completely self inflicted, but with the help of some hefty tax returns, my dear mother, and replacing the “BoGo” addiction with a healthier pastime- window shopping, I was able to beat the credit card demon.


Pictured: broken dreams.
And it feels so good, dear readers. But of course, after such a monumental occasion I really wanted to celebrate with a new pair of shoes…and I won’t lie to you. I bought three. And a tank top…but you better believe this chick paid for ‘em at half off and with cash. So now I am not only one of the very few people in America with no credit card debt and a rating over 750, I might also be one of the last of five people who pay cash for everything.

That's right, I’m officially that crazy lady you have to wait in line behind at the grocery store while she counts out the correct change. Remember that the next time you realize how easy it is to swipe a credit card.