Thursday, January 20, 2011

Man was formed for society. The Snuggie, however, was not.

Translation: I have officially lost all hope for humanity.

So I'm watching The Colbert Report the other day (which is probably the 2nd greatest show EVER), and Stephen plays a clip of THIS:

I have 5 things to say after viewing that commercial:
1. I never thought I'd see the day when wearing a Snuggie was not the worst/laziest/stupidest thing anyone could ever don.
2. Adults do not belong in public in an over glorified onesie.
3. Adults do not belong in public with OTHER adults all in an over glorified onesie.
4. It has butt flaps. BUTT FLAPS.
5. Oh. My. God.

I let a few days pass, tried to forget about the injustice the people at the Forever Lazy company (which I researched, and much to my dismay...actually exists)are pushing on to a society that is so lazy this thing is actually selling. And for $29.95 no less. No wonder America is in the red. But then it happened...I was watching last night's episode of Conan (in case you were wondering, this is the greatest show ever) and I viewed another video that was, for lack of a better term...a viral bitchslap to my soul...

The "*facepalm* heard 'round the world" occurred after I viewed this disgrace to humanity. I don't know if I will be able to stop shaking my head in shame by the time I have to go to work educate our nation's youth. And if there's one thing I hope they learn from me after I've seen these videos, it's that it's NOT OK to dress like a 3 year old in public and generally act douche-tastically in front of other people.

This coming from the woman who is still in her fancy teacher clothes with a dingy old bathrobe on over it. But at least I'm doing it in the privacy of my own home.


  1. First off, the actors in those commercials should be ashamed that they even accepted the paycheck they received to endorse 2 of the most abhorrent products currently on the market.

    Secondly, I thought we hit rock bottom with the snuggie itself and then felt like we ventured into Dante's Inferno territory when the commercial aired with people dancing around to the macarena in their snuggies.

    These two items, however, lead me to believe that the Palestinians and Israelis will be having tea time together before consumers and companies start to understand that adults should wear adult clothing and babies should wear baby clothing. And don't get me start on the napping shield thing coming with a sheep sewn onto it.

    I firmly believe that both of these products should come with a disclaimer that says if these products are EVER worn in public- those opposed to the product have the right to tar and feather the individual wearing them and burn said item.


  2. Forever Lazy:

    1. I can't believe it took this long to invent them.
    2. It is absolutely meant for public viewing.
    3. I expect to be invited to many 'onesie' parties.
    4. The butt flaps are very practical and well thought out.
    5. I want 2 in every fucking color!

    Snazzy Napper:

    Let's call a spade a spade here people!! Don't tell me Islam is not trying to take over the world!! All this is, is a bedazzled for vain American women, Snazzy Burqa! HA! I see through this! (figuratively) They thought they could trick us! Very sneaky....

  3. hahaha I almost choked on my drink when I read "snazzy burqa" ....touche Duchess.

    Erin, that was the most well thought out comment I think blogger has ever seen. haha you tell 'em Mrs. Bee!

  4. Its one thing to succumb to a snuggie, when you are the only one in your house, and all the other blankets have mysteriously disappeared. But to wear it in public, or even around another living thing (pets included) is just rediculous. But after seeing the first commercial, I wonder how much lower humanity can sink. Then I saw the next one. Now I wonder if just walking off a cliff is better than showing my face, in the fear that some higher being will relate me to the humans that actually bought these things.

  5. wait..didn't they come out with a snuggie for your dog, too?


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