Today is my birthday, and I get one every year...

Translation: But alas, I type to you surrounded by tissues, and not tissue paper. Sick as a dog! Better compared to the last couple days, but after a shower and drying my hair, the will to get out of my bathrobe has left me.

Sickness aside, I am happy I have made it yet another year. And at this point I am usually too hungover from birthday shots to have any moments of definitive clarity, but thanks to this dayquil, I realize how far I've come these past 365. Drumroll, please...Kat Von Devious's reasons why I'm not such a horrible human being anymore (a.k.a, hate to see you go, 23):

1. In the past year I've realized sometimes you have to move home in order to grow up (SEE ALSO: Vodka isn't always the answer; the booze paradox). In moving to Michigan to live with my parents and focus on my master's program, I realized there's a whole hell of a lot more to life than dollar drinks on Tuesdays. Anyone under the age of 23 might disagree, wait til you hit 24...you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

I've got a level of clarity I never could've found in my dear old friend vodka. I am sure of my career, my relationships, and where I would like to go from here. I no longer wander from bar to bar looking like a lost puppy in need of free Vegas Bombs. Although, they're always welcome.

2. Patience really is a virtue, but I will never be graceful (SEE ALSO: I'm eloquent when not ACTUALLY putting my foot in my mouth). As a teacher in training this has never been clearer to me than when I am in charge of 200ish teenagers for 7 hours each day. I didn't ever fancy myself patient, but lordy when you need it- I realized I got quite a bit. An amount that has and will surely, make me one hell of an educator when I have my own class. Which brings me to...

3. Maybe children aren't so bad (SEE ALSO: Keep plenty of sanitizer on hand). Aside from rampant illness, I've become quite fond of children over the age of 10. Don't get me wrong, I still have very little mothering instincts and need to focus on being able to raise a plant before I ever have any of my own...but those little ankle biters just aren't so bad after all. Of course, knowing I have the power to ship people to the principal's office if the moment calls for it also helps immensely here.

4. The customer is not always right (SEE ALSO: Reasons why I will never again work customer service). After I quit working for a certain well known shipping company this past year (legally, we're not allowed to name names), I have never been happier. Never again will people tell me I ruined Christmas because they brought their packages in late, or expect me to deliver it myself (let me gain 300 pounds, put on a red suit, and find some reindeer real quick because I am committed to your shipping services!!!).

If there's one thing I learned working customer service for a year (and waiting tables for over 6)- it is that 98% of the time, my dear customer - YOU ARE DEAD WRONG. I merely shake my head when I am waiting in line behind people who think they are of great importance, enough to be a complete jerk to the poor kid trying to earn wages behind the counter doing a way better job than they ever could. Also, the first rule of food service is never piss off the person handling your food...the same should also be applied for any and all customer service related encounters. We can really mess up your flow.

So I'll always be a goofball, but now I am a much more responsible one. Less booze, more books!

In the upcoming year I hope to get better at letting go of grudges, but an elephant never forgets! Haha. I also would like to maintain and improve all of the relationships I have with friends and family, but in particular, my sister. She and I have always been night and day, but as we get older, we grow closer.

I also hope to remain the steadfast girlfriend in a long distance relationship with an amazing man (coming up on 2 yrs in Feb!). This first starts with a seemingly simple thing- to stop thinking I am fat because it drives him crazy. I know I probably weigh about a buck 15, but I have a chub monster who lives in my head (and really loves cake). Other than that, I will continue being a loyal and devoted, kick ass, beer drinking, sports loving, firecracker of a significant other. He deserves the best of the best!

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to nap heavily and hope to be awakened in time for cake and feel slightly less like roadkill. Because when in doubt, on one's birthday, it all boils down to cake or death, anyway...



Update:
I am becoming increasingly spoiled by my aforementioned one hell of a boyfriend:

I am so in love with chivalry. Roses are the best gift a man could ever give a woman!