Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Because we're better than you, and we know it!

Translation: After google searching, I found this to be the mantra of hipsters. How someone who still lives in his mother's basement, listening to the same Taking Back Sunday album for the 8th million time while reading anything by Chuck Klosterman (because they're certain he's God) thinks he's better than other people...well it's absolutely beyond me.

I am bothered by the growing trend of men wearing women's jeans and wife beaters in public, whilst sporting long and shaggy unwashed hair. This trend is called being a "hipster" ...although for the life of me I cannot figure out what is so hip about looking like a homeless person. Call me crazy?

Anyhow, I was at the mall doing what I do best (window shopping...much to my chagrin, my credit card keeps me from ever being able to make a commitment), and a group of what appeared to be 15 year old girls were walking in front of me. I say "what appeared to be" because it was my professional opinion as a woman it could've been trendy, really skinny 15 year old girls with cute bob hair cuts from behind. Sadly, I was wrong. And the only thing I find more annoying than admitting I am wrong, is seeing a hipster in a public place.

Once I passed these girls and realized they were in fact boys, I was highly upset that a man obviously had on not only the same black pair of Charlotte Russe skinny jeans as me...but a SMALLER SIZE of black Charlotte Russe skinny jeans. I'm a size 4 and this kid had to be in a 0. Instead of tearing out my hair and ultimately deciding to wear sweats everywhere I go (noooow I get it, Michigan) I attempted to go about my business.

Until I heard the kid say it..."Hey, lookie there lady we have on the same jeans!"

I asked what a 15 year old was:
A. Doing out of school at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday
B. Doing stealing his younger sister's jeans
And C. Informed him I was glad those jeans were so tight they probably would render him impotent.

So it turns out he was actually 21. I think my laughter resonated throughout the entire mall. Do I feel bad about mocking a grown man in woman's jeans? Of course not. If those jeans weren't so tight, I'm pretty sure he would've had the room to exit the mall with his tail between his legs.


  1. Very good. And speaking of jeans; I used to wear flared jeans. Please don't tell anyone:-)
    Have a peaceful and positive day.
    With respect from some old dude who used to wear flared jeans, Gary.

  2. Your secret is safe with me, Gary!!! If it makes you feel better, at least that was a widely accepted trend when you wore them!

  3. Eww. I just checked out pictures of hipsters on google...I've seen them at the mall, I just thought they WERE homeless people and trying to get out of the cold.
    Thank you for making me aware of this disturbing trend.

  4. you're welcome. keep hand sanitizer on hand and use it frequently. i'm pretty sure just looking at them you could catch some debilitating disease.

  5. I totally agree with you that those trends like that have become incredibly obnoxious. I especially hate the extremely thug and gangster style that keeps sweeping through. I'm not racist by ANY means, but it annoys me that the attitude of being "hard" or whatever is somehow cool. I don't judge or anything, but I personally find it distasteful and pretty trashy looking. I guess everyone is entitled to their opinions though and everyone is also entitled to wear what they like even if we find it offensive. That's modern America for ya :)

  6. haha most definitely... it's like hipster on one end of the style spectrum, gangster on the other. Either their pants or too tight or too loose. Where's the happy medium?!


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